I Have a Cow in my Inside and Other Profoundities

My spirit animal, I tell my students, is an elephant. Maybe I don't look like an elephant (and if I do, don't tell me! you overly-honest Koreans, you!) but inside I am. Now, tell me - what is your spirit animal?

This may be my new favorite question to ask. The idea comes from The Golden Compass which introduces a world where every person has a "daemon," an animal that represents their soul. To me, it's both a scary and comforting idea. Comforting because who doesn't want a pet that is part of you? It would be like always having a best friend at your side who not only can do things you can't (fly, maybe), but who agrees with you. Scary, however, because everyone else knows who you really are.

Why you no use articles?! Why?

I ask this question impertinently, the way Harry impertinently asks Dumbledore what he sees in the mirror of Erised.

Jack writes:

"I think I resemble a hamster because I'm cute like a hamster. Hamsters are popular for young children. I also are popular for young children. And I, like hamsters, like sunflower seeds. In addition sunflower seeds, I like corn, pumpkin seeds and I quickly like a hamster. I'm a little urgent personality. Also I exercise like a hamster: Hamsters always turn the treadmill. I always spin the hula hoop. And my chubby cheeks that resembles a hamster. I want to live hamster for a day, view form the point, I think a lot of similarities hamsters."

Moses:

"My spirit animal is cow, maybe. I think myself I am good at patience. I sit long time in the library desk. I am always doing something persistently  I work without complain. I just work and work. And I am just waiting and waiting. When I work, someone imagine the scene that cows are pulling a plow. So I have a cow in my inside."

It wasn't sickness that made students fail to attend my
class today: it was random sports competition
day/week/MONTH. Turns out this "having sports fun when
your professors are trying to educate you" thing lasts for
the next two weeks. What the what?
Why didn't I have this in college?!

Giggs:

"My spirit animal may be a sloth who is always slothful. I always lie down in my room, don't move very well and behave slowly. So, I think, my spirit animal is sloth."

Danny:

"My spirit animal is a hyena. Hyenas are very interesting and complex animals. They look like ugly so do i...They like to eat and hunt other wild animals but it is not true. Actually, most hyenas hunt by themselves. I don't like that someone help for me. I want to do something by myself and hyenas are weak individually, but strong in numbers. I also am very hard to do alone [note: hard/difficult is hard/difficult for Koreans; it leads to some awkward sentences at times]."