Fistulas Are for Everyone

So I was reading about obstetric fistulas the other day in Half the Sky (mentioned here). For those of you who don’t know (like me) and don’t want to go to Wikipedia, obstetric fistulas are painful holes that develop between the rectum and vagina. They’re usually caused by poor medical treatment when a woman is giving birth, but unless surgically fixed, will continue to be humiliating and painful holes for the rest of a woman’s life.

What kinds of pictures do you put in a post about fistulas
and worms? Landscapes . . . 

That’s rough, you and I say, but there’s AIDS too. And poverty.

Call me callous, but I’m human and so are you: the world is full of suffering of one kind or another. We all agree these women with fistulas suffer (“the modern day leper” from one source), but so do lots of people—with muscular dystrophy, with cancer. The list of physical ailments goes on and on; fistulas are only one more problem.

Then I got worms.

You think and I wish I was joking. A week ago, all I knew about worms (the disease) was that we gave the dog pills for their prevention every month. Now I know so. So. SO much more. After I googled my symptoms and started reading, my first thought was this: I would rather re-label this apartment as my coffin and force the police to break down my door to discover the source of the worm-infested corpse stankiness than go to a doctor here in Korea for this. Ever.

. . . and happy memories. . .

Luckily it’s pretty treatable and aside from severe asscrack[1] itching, nothing but my self-esteem and all levels of comfort were destroyed. But even if no one knew—and believe me, until I figured out and took the first steps to treat it, no one did—I was ashamed. I still am. This post horrifies me just as it does you. Probably more so, because it’s disgusting and I feel disgusting and that’s the difference I had missed when I was reading about fistulas.

Shame. Fistulas are holes combining two parts of a woman’s body that women—especially women in traditional settings where fistulas normally occur—are never supposed to talk about. Undeserved shame is the real disease for these women, though that shouldn’t undermine the physical suffering of fistulas.

. . .and times when I'd never heard of a fistula.

It’s not like I hadn’t read that part: half the chapter was about a woman who was starving herself to death because she wanted to die due to her isolation. Not from the fistula, mind you, but from the shame. Still, I missed it in the same way you overlook words you don’t really know. The word is there; you see it and pass over it—until one day you learn its meaning and very suddenly it’s everywhere.

Fistulas are everywhere. Holes that aren’t supposed to be there and, anyway, “there” is not something we talk about. Maybe if we could talk about it, could give and receive our pain the way we do candy on Halloween—[2]asking for it, ready and willingly dropping into the asker’s hands—then physical fistulas, cancer, AIDS, poverty: they wouldn’t stand a chance.

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[1] I apologize for the crassness, but it’s the half-hysterical giggle in my throat when I think about this word that makes me able to say it, unlike any of its socially more acceptable synonyms.

[2] Season references are always in style!

Diversions

Most of this week was spent trying to keep track of which students haven’t turned in their homework, had to skip class because of a runny nose, and which ones can’t figure out where my office is despite both the sign on the door and me saying, “It is room 2. 3. 0. 9” in mounting tones of frustration.

But in between the joys of teaching Koreans—who are old enough to be adults, but act like American twelve-year-olds because, too busy studying, they were never allowed to be twelve years old—I’ve indulged in quite a few books, movies, and t.v. shows and, rather surprisingly, I have not been disappointed. Here’s the line-up:

     1.      Avatar:the Last Airbender (2005-2008)

This has nothing to do with James Cameron and everything to do with sweet writing, excellent plot, and all things geeky. The opening 30-second-narrated montage says it all:

“Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years past and my brother and I found the new Avatar—an Airbender named Ang. And although his airbending skills are great, Ang has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anybody. But I believe that Ang can save the world!”

     2.      Avatar:Legend of Korra (2012)

Okay, okay, okay. It’s the same thing, but the new avatar's a girl with tattoos who has a giant polar bear. Shoot me.

     3.      Redeeming Eve by Heather P. Webb

This is a book about counseling that I mentioned a couple posts ago, but I consider it a must-read for Christians. Saturated with equal parts empathy and practicality Webb’s stories and advice after years of counseling are full of wisdom on how to live and love fully within God’s redeeming love.

     4.      Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

“Women hold up half the sky” is a Chinese proverb proven true by the tales of women’s strength and rebirth told in this book. Kristof and WuDunn (a married couple) have traveled extensively and interviewed many women from different cultures so as best to depict the status of women everywhere and what can be done to give women a fighting chance.

     5.      ToKill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

If you only read this book as a kid, seriously. Read it again. It’s a riot.

     6.      BattleRoyale (2000)

I’m sorry—you thought Hunger Games was a bloodthirsty idea? The Japanese had it way earlier and way diabolical-er. In this alternate future, the government passed a law that said because high school students were getting too rowdy, one 9^th grade class every year would be sent to a secure location where, given various weapons and survival supplies, they battle each other to the death. If they refuse to play or disobey the rules in any way, the metal collar secured around their neck blows their head off. I liked Hunger Games, too, but it is small potatoes folks.

     7.      HardCandy (2005, Ellen Page)

Brutal, in every way. A tiny fourteen-year-old lures a man back to his own home, drugs him, and ties him up in an attempt to prove he’s a pedophile guilty for the recent disappearance and subsequent death of a young girl. The dialogue and the dynamics between the two actors is breathtaking.

     8.      BattlestarGallactica (2004-2009)

Frack, yes. It’s like Firefly but more episodes, and if you haven’t watched Firefly, stop what you’re doing and watch Firefly. Don’t be stubborn; you’re only hurting yourself. And once you’re in love with that show, try Battlestar Gallactica to ease the pain of it getting taken off the air. An 8.8 on imdb, if you recognize that rarity of that.