|Update: Minhee smiles sometimes!|
1. Any class can take an unexpected 180. And a 360.
2. Bring energy.
3. And a pencil. And a time-keeping device of some kind.
4. All the homework you assign comes back and you have to grade it.
5. Speak slower. Always.
6. Repeat yourself two or three times.
7. Repeat. Yourself. Two. *show* or three *show* times. *write it on the board*
8. Visuals are helpful.
9. Don’t use words like “visuals.”
10. Do not use contractions.
11. R’s are l’s, and you teach “Grobal Engrish.”
12. “I don’t know; I’ll look it up” is a perfectly acceptable answer.
13. Have water on hand.
14. Talk less; make them do the work.
15. Laugh a lot.
16. Smile more.
17. Provide incentive—free homework passes are the new hotcakes.
18. Have sticky notes with you—because there will be students who need to make an appointment, give an excuse for an absence, or require a copy of last week’s assignment.
19. They love it when you act things out.
21. One smile out of twenty is worth it.
|We go to the coffee shop sometimes to grade. And not grade.|
“Teacher, what’s the difference between ‘quickly’ and ‘fastly’?”
“Professor Elaine, what does it mean to ‘fall behind’?”
“What does it mean when two people say they are living together?”
|The rigors of grading are softened by strawberry milkshakes.|
Who knows if anyone will answer the question I ask? Who knows if anyone understands what I’m saying?
The money might be awful—and the students who absolutely refuse to study might be more frustrating than being unable to close the peanut butter lid with one knife-holding hand since the other one is facilitating the mawing of the sandwich made from said peanut butter—but because of all the mental hopping about, I feel like teaching is about as close to being a ninja as I’ll ever be.
 You laugh, but all three have come up in the last week. And it took a really long time to explain the difference between “going on a date” and “dating,” and then, of course, what you can and can’t assume about two people “living together.”