Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Synonyms and Euphemisms

When I saw the mushroom I had eaten 20 hours previous appear nearly whole in the toilet bowl I was clutching, I decided I had hit my low point. But then again, I thought that same thing when I tossed up the rice and soup I’d managed later that night for dinner. And again, when I called the graduate office secretary Lauren to cancel my classes.
See the mushrooms? Upper right. They were delicious.
Both times.

“You sound terrible! Do you have a doctor you can see?”

“Uh...maybe. *hurple* I can’t really leave my...apartment.”

The toilet seat I imagine I might someday possess patted me companionably on the shoulder.


Then we got back to business.

 Around one o’clock, an angel in a green sweater and too cute grey boots showed up. Ashley handed me a black plastic bag filled with crackers and soda. Then she climbed the Kosin mountain and toted my books back down so I could lesson-plan and grade.

You and me, toilet bowl. We're going places.

“But you should rest!” she said. “Want a story to make you feel better?”

Angel, am I right?

Runner-up angel of the day award goes to Lauren Myracle for her engrossing YA novel Shine. It is now the second novel about the Southern U.S. that I not only do not hate, but would willingly reread and recommend (the first obviously being To Kill a Mockingbird). And it distracted me from all things upchucked.

At least until I realized how to make an ESL lesson out of this fiasco:

Vomit, puke, barf, hurl, upchuck, ralph, spew, wretch, heave, yakking, blowing chunks, tossing cookies, losing lunch, and of course, it’s “throw up” not “throw out” no matter how much you wish you could throw out the image of “blowing chunks.”

It was thinking like this disgustingly cannibalistic
advertisement that may or may not have triggered
the second wave.

Peace begins with saltines.

Adam and Travis. Travis cooked for us on
Friday night and is thus removed from suspicion.
Plus his food was so good I'd probably eat it again
even if it did send me back to my bathroom floor.
Friendly bread-makers at Gyeongju who also did not poison me.
For which I am very grateful.

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